Wichita's Finest Chinese Buffet

Our children are really into knock knock jokes right now and we just got back (10 PM) from seeing an old friend and we were driving home late.  Our kids our tired and we are tired and our children are entertaining themselves with knock knock jokes. 

 

Noah hit the jackpot with the last one.  Here it is:

 

Noah:   Knock, knock

Me:      Who's there?

Noah:   Fook.

Me:      Fook, who?

 

I don't really remember the rest since Jen was gasping for air from laughing so hard at my son's first foray into swearing.

In case you can't get enough of the Myers-Briggs personality profiles....

Last night I sat down with my sweet wife, while the 49ers defense was figuring out how long to keep my hopes alive—which wasn’t long, and we went through all the Myers-Briggs stuff from our staff retreat last weekend. I was able to get a copy of Jen’s profile and we started reading her sections like “May be experiences as” and her “Contributions” which only made her out to sound like the perfect employee.

So I went to read the results of my test only to read that I “May be experienced as” the stinking worst employee (i.e. don’t hire this type of individual). If you think I’m joking, under the section “Contributions” it only listed “Good at Martyrdom.”

Well, last night I took it on myself to search the web to find out if my personality type has any contributions at all when I found a study from Purdue University. Now, either this is some cruel joke or maybe there IS hope for me since they listed President’s Kennedy, Roosevelt, and Johnson as ESTP’s. Jen’s results are SEVEN pages. I think they increased the font of mine to get to Four pages, but nevertheless, it was really interesting to read all the different aspects of my “make up.”

If you are interested in knowing what it says about your type, follow these instructions:

1. “Click” this line: http://www.purdue.edu/usp/pdfs/mbtiresources/ESTP.pdf

2. Now you should have my results open on a web page. Go to the address line in your web browser and delete the part of the address that is “ESTP” and replace it with your “letters.” Like for Jen, hers is http://www.purdue.edu/usp/pdfs/mbtiresources/INFJ.pdf.

My Sunday highlight, before the 49ers get lit up...man, they suck!

I was sitting here in my office “blogging” when three of my students came in to my newly finely stinking done office and sat down on the couch and started playing with my Napoleon Dynamite toys and we were just talking and stuff when I realized that the sermon was about to begin so I’m all, “Dude, I am out of here.  Let’s go to church to hear the sermon!”

Of  course they were skipping church, which I didn’t realize till later.  Nevertheless, I left and really encouraged them to come with me, cause I really wanted to go (our SP is a really good orator).  So one of them tries to get the other two to ditch me so they can skip church…

…but…

…the two came with me to hear the end of the sermon and the one student came in just a few minutes later after he realized that skipping church by yourself just isn’t that much fun.  So we got to hear the rest of the sermon, we saw everyone get up and turn in their pledge envelopes (always pretty moving for me cause it’s so cool to see people giving to the church) and then got to enjoy communion together.  So fun.  Absolutely why I do what I do, to help students in their faith.

There is always that temptation to not push kids and to appear cool and I could have easily just hung out in my office and had fun with them and even had a good conversation.  And there would have been nothing wrong with that.  And it’s fun to, to demonstrate that being a part of the corporate body is really important to our faith and to lead out whether they were coming or not…it’s just a nice bonus to look back and see that there are a few following where you are leading.

Blogging like a mad fool!

Dude, how many posts within the first day?  Good night.  I need a life. This is very good though for me to be able to think through what I’m feeling.  I’m sure this is probably what happens to most people when they start blogging, i.e. they blog a ton. 

John Deere

Speaking of crops….my dad works at John Deere.

I need to grow these crops and I feel like I’ve just bought a field and I’m discouraged that I haven’t produced any crops.  I’ve had this crop for five months and I have only a handful of seedlings, and ONLY because they REALLY want to grow. 

I can get a quick crop, but they’ll just burn in the sun because they have no roots.

I feel like I was hired because I had a plan on how to make them grow.

And I’m sitting here looking at the field thinking, 1.  What the hell have I gotten myself into, 2.  How should I get the crop to grow, and 3.  Shouldn’t I know how to do this?  Isn’t this why they put me in charge of the field?

I never plant.  I just get these seedlings for three years.  I have three years to get them healthy enough to withstand the toughest weather.  Unfortunately, I don’t get to plant them.  They are transported into my field every year.  But I do have a choice as to what kind of soil they get transferred to and as to how many gardeners I have working the fields. 

I am the head gardener of my field.

I need programs to help the seedlings grow.

I need other gardeners to work the field whether the seedlings are involved in the growth programs.

Right now I’m struggling to get the seedlings to come to the growth programs.

Some of them, very few, will come because of the program itself.

Most will come because of their relationships with other seedlings.

If they attend the growth programs, they will grow.

But whether or not they attend, someone needs to care for their growth.

How can I help the parents of the seedlings?  By doing the programs and caring for their seedling.  Encouraging them to put their seedling in the program.  The better growth programs I have, the healthier seedlings I’ll produce, and the more parents will want their kids in the program.

Now where’d I put my Rototiller…

Freaking Liturgical Dance

It never ends.  Good night.  The most important program for students to be a part of, our small group program, has been on Sunday nights.  Since we’ve had an overflow regular crowd of 4-6 students, I figured that if we moved it mid week where our youth group….errrrrrrrrrrrr, youth choir meets and tag it on to that, parents will have an easier time supporting it.  Only to find out now, that some of our students won’t be attending small groups because they have liturgical dance on that day.

Two things:

1. Liturgical dance is a freaking joke here.  I watched them last year.  The girls are giggling while doing it, they have poor form, the dance steps are unoriginal, and it just looks awful.  How people aren’t embarrassed by it, I don’t have a clue.   It’s like we have this freaking monster attitude of the emperor has no clothes, but no one wants to say it and no one even freaking notices.
2. I have to remember that this is a start up.  My vision won’t happen for like five years and THEN we’ll be in business.  Until then, I am tilling the soil, planting the seed and watering it.  I am hoping to have a nice crop in five years.  If I don’t, I need to find another job or something. 

Five years is what it takes for most businesses to make a profit.  Is this church willing to wait five years?  Is five years too long?  Maybe in youth ministry it should be shorter.  I mean, I have 20 some odd kids so I’m dealing with about 20 families.  But the issue is that I’m dealing with loads of years and years of tradition.  There is so much work to do.  It is so discouraging.  I feel like I’m working on Mt. Rushmore and I’m dying to see something and I need the patience to wait.  If I could only see that in a few years I’m going to have a good product.  And my fear creeps in.

Fear that I’ve never been at a church for five years.  Maybe I won’t have anything in five years.  I was at one church for nearly four years, but three of those were wasted and I’m banking on the fact that I had three mediocre years and had a good profit, only by God’s hand.  And I was at the other church for a year part time and did really well, but the year I was there full time seemed like a flop.  Now I’ve been here since June, starting my sixth month, and I’m only seeing failure.  How can I not be the cause of that?

Man, the guilt just punishes me.  False guilt.  It is crippling.

I need to take care of my soul, study, and work hard.  And be patient.  Create an environment for health, and let the crop grow.

Therapeutic Moralistic Deism

This morning our youth choir sang in church and I looked out at the students, those there in attendance and those noticeably absent, and it is a challenge in front of us.  How can I teach these students a belief and relationship with God that is more than “Therapeutic Moralistic Deism” that they have been fed for years?  How can I work every week to bring them noticeable change?  To do more than just teaching through a curriculum but to know that what I’m teaching them really is shaping their thoughts on God.  How many times do I treat my teaching like a chore to complete instead of a joy to express?  Where is my passion?  The truth is that It’s not being fueled.  I feel like I’m doing a job. 

 

I’d like to blame it on being overwhelmed.  Have I lost my passion?  Have I lost the reason I chose this occupation?  Have I been swept up in the depression here?  Am I just collecting a check? 

 

What am I doing to radically change the past of this youth ministry?  What am I going to do to begin shaping a culture of passionate students?

 

#1         I’ve got to cultivate my soul.

#2         I need to deepen myself and study.

#3         I need to be disciplined

#4         I need goals

 

There I go again, getting overwhelmed.  It’s so easy to see what needs to be done, so hard to just do it.

 

So what separates those who are doing it from those who want to do it?

Reminder of what it's about

What a struggle it is for me sometimes to remember why we do what we do. Tonight we had these students come out to Catacombs and they are all so lonely, so desperate, so...without intimacy, and it is so sad.

So these students come. They are loud. Obnoxious. I got girls who are experimenting with lesbianism and they are all PDA-ing it all over the place and it's just rediculous. Uninvited guests into our ministry program.

And I don't know what to do. Two of them are in college and they shouldn't be there, but of course, if they are college students who are still hanging out with high schoolers, it does indicate some of thier immaturity. It's pointless to make a scene and kick them out. It's pointless to make a scene when they aren't displaying any more pda than we allow our heterosexual students. But they are so distracting!!!!

I don't want them there because they are taking the spotlight away from the students that we are trying to minister to.

But where else would I want the riff raff to be on a saturday night, than with us?

It's amazing how the lack of a relationship affects the situation. If they were students I cared about, I would feel different. If I knew these girls had been or were being abused at home by thier dad(s), then frick, their sexual experimentation is small beans.

When will I reach the point of looking at them, not as intruders, but fellow pilgrims? When will I begin to see them naturally as people loved by God? Why do I have to remind myself? why doesn't it come naturally? Instead of immidiately judging people and treating them like an interuption, why don't I love them for who they are and treat them as loved by God?

Part of it is that I want Catacombs to be a special place and when strangers come, it messes with the flow.

But Catacombs cannot be the program. Relationships have to be outside of it. So I'm going to meet with David and Matt on Monday after school, 3:20 PM ish. I need to call thier parents Sun PM.

Lord, there is so much I have to work on. Help me see people as loved by you. Help me see past thier obnoxious behavior. And help me love them like you love them. Help me have the balance to serve those entrusted to my care, and those who just dart in for a day or two. Help me become less. And you become more.